Im in love...... and FINALLY it feels right!!

Im in love...... in love with the ghost of a past that could have been......................... and the shadow of a future yet to come.........

In my opinion, 20 years gives us enough time to realise what we have...what we want.... and also...what could have been...

I always considered myself a romantic..... believed there was a prince charming on a white horse waiting for me........ I even led myself to believe that I was in love... and not once or twice......but thrice.......... That was the ghost or rather ghosts of my past...a past that could have been...and yet, life and growing up has this way of bringing us out of our day dreams.... flinging off our rose coloured glasses and smacking us back to reality......

I have grown up...and none too soon..... I now look forward.... to a future...... yet to come....
And the romance of this situation is the uncertainty...the ambiguity of it all.... Whether the future I have envisioned for myself will actually materialise or not....................
The palpitations I now experience are not my heart beats dancing to the tunes of another person.... But for the excitement that one gets while watching ones future finally take shape....

And yet...I love both of these parts of my young life equally......
Each of them, in their own way, has helped me grow.... has shaped me into the person I am today......... the past has given me experiences...both good and bad.... more bad than good..... but all the same.... it has laid the foundation for my future...without which I would have been nothing but a message-in-a-bottle floating aimlessly in the restless ocean of life.....

Now...only one question remains..... where does my "today" fit in the equation???
Maybe the safest answer that I can give now is to say that my "today" is occupied thinking about the past..... planning out my future..... and working towards it.....

I have gotten my priorities straight..... FINALLY!
And I do believe that right now, as of this moment, NOTHING & NO ONE can make me stray away from my road to El Dorado.....

Everybody is a hero....

This thought comes from the least expected place... Spider-man-2.....
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"... there is a hero in all of us...that keeps us honest...gives us strength...makes us noble... and finally allows us to die with pride..... Even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most...... even our dreams..."
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We dont have to be saints or politicians or rich philanthropists or great leaders in order to become heroes.... true, our actions or words may not be strong enough to influence a large circumference of population, but nonetheless they will definitely affect those closest to us...those who matter the most...those to whom we matter the most.....and most importantly ourselves....
The most important thing is to have confidence in ourselves.... to know that the decisions that we take are the right ones... and to have pride in ourselves for doing the right thing....
Cos it is never too late to make amends.....

If you know you are right...never ever let what others say pull you down.... you have to be steady...and never compromise on what you know is right..... whatever may be the repercussions!!!

Sure, it may sound difficult...it is never easy to give up your dreams..infact, it is almost impossible...(Also note: if there was no difficulty in giving up a dream...it simply means that what you gave up was not a dream in the first place).... but the satisfaction that you get is PRICELESS!!!!!

Im not doing bol-bacchhangiri.... maybe Ive never yet been faced by decisions where my dreams were at stake........................

Seems like this is not the best way to conclude my monologue.... but still.... THE END!!

Another excerpt from "Shantaram"

Well.... i found this really inspiring... dunno about you.....

".....For this is what we do. Put one foot forward and then the other. Lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world once more. Think. Act. Feel. Add our little consequence to the tides of good and evil that flood and drain the world. Drag our shadowed crosses into the hope of another night. Push our brave hearts into the promise of a new day. With love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own. With longing: the pure, ineffable yearning to be saved. For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on. God help us. God forgive us. We live on."

Hmmm... its like, we all know that the road ahead is going to be as rocky as the steepest mountain (thats from our perspective, of course).... but still we continue to live on in the hope of a better tomorrow.... i mean, sure, if we didnt do that the human mortality rate would be sky-high..... but that just means that the only thing sustaining us, giving us the will to push on into another day, is HOPE.... hope that tomorrow we will get an opportunity that we missed today....hope that tomorrow will be better than today.... Probably, some of this HOPE is also intermingled with a LONGING........ a longing to prove ourselves... a longing to succeed..... a longing to live until that tomorrow-which-will-be-better-than-today........ what say??

Fate is what happens to us when luck gets tired of waiting....

"Fate is what happens to us when luck gets tired of waiting"...................... Hmmm, interesting... I read this line in the book "Shantaram" (an awesome book, by the way!!)
I feel it basically means that all throughout our lives we are presented with opportunities... the only catch being that we have to recognise and then grab these opportunities... once that is done, luck is the reward..... And then for those poor souls who are not able to identify these chances.... fate is what happens..... So this basically means that everyone has a basic layout of their life pre-planned...their general fate is fixed and somewhat final at the time of our birth... but, based on the opportunities we grab, we, ourselves, have the power to change it and make it even better....
But the biggest problem here is the recognising of opportunities and once that is done, grabbing them................
How can we recognise these opportunities???? I think our only aide for this is our own intuition or gut instinct or even sixth sense...... something, in our conscience... that tells us to do or not do something...... Another contributing factor could be our own confidence or fearlessness or that inner push that prompts us to take that particular step which has been pointed out by our inner self........ Anyone who lacks either of the two is most often the one who misses out on the great chances offered by life....... and then ends up "kosoing his phooti kismat"......
"Fate is what happens to us when luck gets tired of waiting"......interesting, very very interesting...............................
Hmmmm..... this seems like a good arguement to make when my mother tries to go to another pandit or fortune-teller or palm reader or whoever.... hehehe what say??

Isn't living all about time???

Isn't living all about time??? Gives me something to ponder about.... someone recently mentioned about peoples lives revolving around time...one way or another... I feel that its true... The simplest argument in favour of this is that people learn from their pasts (though not always!!) so as to live fully and un-errorlessly(if there's a word like that!!) in the present, while all the "time" planning for their future.... I can even say that the past is like a.... lets say, a timeline... while the future is a plain sheet of paper... the timeline has already been mapped... it is certain and it is unchangeable.... the future, the blank paper, is waiting for its fate... we can write on it... fill it with reams and reams of writing... or boring facts...or with vibrant colours...our hopes and dreams and aspirations..... or we can crumple it... burn it...or chuck it away....
Another thought: our present is just "this second"..."this moment"..."this breath".... the next second or moment or breath is the future....... do we really ever give due consideration to this... our eyes are always set on "the future" as a whole.... but have we ever really realised that the next second could be our last??????????? Then what about the future of this "future" that we dream about????
Another thought: Is there any chance of undoing the past??? Afterall, i always believe that life is all about second chances.... But if the past is sooo certain and unchangeable.... then what is the use of second chances??? So maybe... even the past, like the future, can be changed and altered to accomodate our follies...... but that isn't possible (well, at least until someone develops a time machine.... however, then we would have to think about how going back to change our past would invariably screw up our future... anyway, I digress..) ???
A broken vase,once broken, cannot be mended...... sure, you may use Fevikwik... but the crack will remain..... so maybe.... mistakes cannot be undone.... but they can be amended.... the damage cannot be reversed...but it can be minimised.... hurt people can forgive..................................................

Hmmm... that was deep!!

Do i think too much??...hmmmm

My previous post received a comment saying that i seemed the kind of person who thinks a lot, simply due to my excessive use of "...".....hmmmm phoenix is probably right... i do think a bit more than most... But then thinking is probably the easiest thing for me to do... for me thinking doesnt necessarily involve any great issues or pressing problems... i could probably take up any incident that might have occured and try to analyse it from different angles.... of course...most people refer to that as living in the past.... not necessarily...you could say that im a people-person... when i think about these situations i generally focus on the actions and reactions of the people involved.... these little nuances can reveal a great deal about the nature of a person... and that is what i love... getting to know people via their little unconsciously performed habits... ofcourse, i may not be right about a person all of the times... but 8 times out of 10 is not bad at all.....
so..a little bit more of myself, i divulge today.... wonder what any reader might have to say....
yes, reading peoples comments is another activity i love.... gives one loads of food for thought(wink!)
so, i now bid thee, dear reader, farewell...until we meet again....
this is...your humble blogger-rambler...
Signing out!!

Welcome to the ramblings of an idle mind...

Hmmm...my first blog....well, not exactly my first...but...whatever...
Doesnt saying "my first blog" sound awfully like saying,"my first crush".....anyways....
well, here goes...went through other peoples blogs....am totally inspired!! but i doubt my ramblings will possess any of the depth that was so , totally present in the ones i read....hmmm...time will tell...
i feel that writing a blog...is like writing in a diary...ofcourse, one which is free for all to read...so a certain restraint has to be observed....am i making any sense...???
sometimes your mind is so cluttered that when you actually sit down to express yourself what comes out is totally garbled and meaningless....do writers have neat orderly minds.... separate compartments,like, so that when they write everything is laid out in perfect order......
i always wanted to be a writer...or atleast...write something that would make people crave for more...like J.K.Rowling...people are captivated by her!!!
but there was always something crucial missing in my work...a certain spark.... im sure anyone who might bother to read my blogs would feel the same..... still...i do not want to be the person who gave up on her dream...even if my contribution to the literary world is in the form of these blogs....
so until the next time...
this is...
your humble blogger, signing out!