Calm...

The stars in the sky here are beautiful....

Of course, they are still the same stars...but the feelings I associated with them are now different... There is something very calming about lying on your back in the parking lot at 1.30am, gazing at the sky... midnight blue silk...shot through with diamonds... Watching them twinkle down on you as you lie down amongst your friends.... secure in the knowledge that everything is going to be all right....

The sight is awe-inspiring, humbling and yet, at the same time, so very loving.... I know im just a very small molecule...totally insignificant... my life- my past, my present, my future... and yet, im a part of something so beautiful...so perfect!

Im happy... long may it last....

A little dog died today....

She wasnt the worlds best dog.... quite the opposite, in fact! She was the little puppy who chomped through my math, economics and accountancy text books believing she had done me a huge favour! She was the little teething critter who completely destroyed countless pairs of footwear simply because she couldnt find her favourite chew-toy.....

She was also the little fluff ball who would crawl up under our blankets at night to grab some body warmth... the beautiful, bright, doe-eyed dog with the perked up ears who would always be the first one to greet you when you went to pet her (even though she would always unfailingly manage to dig her nails into our butt)..... She loved to run...and everytime she was let free she would zip around like a streak of wet lightening....

She was just four and a half years old.... she did not deserve to die... and yet she did...

its the worst thing in the world to have a beloved die in ones arms...and yet it happened....even though I kept imagining that any minute she would jump up as good as ever and launch herself on us in all her flailing, drooling glory...disappointment.... the sense of inadequacy the inability to do anything is absolutely heartwrenching... Its a burden I will have to bear for the rest of my life.... I can only try and console myself by imagining her in an endless open pasture, running and frolicking to her hearts content....

I just hope that there is a passageway connecting the place where dogs go, to the place where humans go.... Because, I dearly hope to someday see my snoopy-baby once again....

Love you, my darling.... rest in peace!!

Random...random...completely random...

There's this saying... "We travel the world seeking what we want..... and return home to find it.."

Im not sure how true that is.... Ive not really travelled the world... considering im a girl with very few means at my disposal... but then, another question is....how many of us are completely sure of what we want in life?? A couple here and there..maybe... But a majority of us are basically floundering through life barely sure of where we want to go...what we want to be.... Sure, its the easiest thing in the world to decide a profession for oneself...but im talking about the bigger picture... Im speaking about our own personal life mission... something we do to establish our own identity... nobody wants to live a life of annonymity, everybody needs to feel the limelight upon themselves at some point or another in their life... But then, in a world crawling with the tangled mass of countless broken dreams... how many actually manage to reach their pinnacle??????

Seems to me that when the saying was first coined, it basically meant that when we travel all over the world searching for our life's purpose and if we dont really find it...we finally come back home and settle for whatever we may find because no one ever wants to admit that they may have not accomplished what they set out to achieve in life... How many of us say that "all we want is... everything!!" Is it really possible to get EVERYTHING in life?????? I say thats utter pish-posh!! The fundamental law of alchemy states that in order to get anything, something of equal value has to be taken away..... Seems to be proven true... Mukesh Ambani may have a 60+ storeyed building for himself.... but he dont got no brother no more..........

Randomness...

I wonder if earthworms have feelings? Or does their life pass simply in eating mud and pooping it back out?? Weird thought... a random memory came to mind... I remembered I had once tortured an earthworm... and it sounds funny... morbid..but undeniably funny! I tied it up in a knot...

But I guess an earthworm's life is pretty uncomplicated... Plenty of muck to eat...farmers are your friends...all you have to do is try your best to stay away from worm eating birds and worm-torturing girls...

I wonder what do earthworms taste of? I like to imagine they taste like watery chicken... my aunt had, in her childhood, eaten an ant...she said it tasted sour... I didnt have the guts to verify that... what if the bloody thing survived my chewing...went down my gullet... and bit the inside of my stomach??? SCARY!

Did you know that in every jar of jam there are at least a 100 crushed ants... stupid sods must have just wanted some sugar to take back to their hills... ended up getting spread on sliced bread....

Was sitting in a cafe with a friend... saw a teeny-weeny spider crawling up our seat.... he squashed it saying that if the spider went up some crevice and spun a web... HOLY CRAP doesnt quite cover it!! Now I wonder if that spider actually had any intention of crawling up someones arse....anyways... I hope its soul rests in peace...

I have a feeling that maybe someday, in the future, the creepy-crawlies may actually come up against us in arms.... I guess, that would be our apocalypse...armageddon...judgement day.... I dont really fancy being tied up in a knot by a giant earthworm.... but until that day, I think I can sleep peacefully...

:)

Bit of a bringing up-to-date...

Im soooo tantalisingly close to getting what I want.... Its just there...just out of my reach... now if only I could stretch a little higher....
Endorphins, I have discovered, are tons better than any happy drug.... I luuurrrve kick boxing!!!
Was pleasantly surprised at receiving cherry brandy as a coming-of-age present... Thats the first bottle Im going to crack open when I get what I want... what a perfect opportunity to get completely drunk!!
Yippie for me!!!!!!
Toodles!